One of my biggest frustrations so far has been the numbness
I have in my left hand. You know when you sleep on your arm
wrong and you wake up and your hand is kind of numb? Usually you can just shake it and the feeling comes back, but imagine that it stays like that
all the time. That’s how my left hand and half way up my arm feels all
day, every day. It's most certainly not a fun sensation, believe me. However, the bigger
frustration comes not from the sensation itself, but from the strain it puts on my piano playing. I can tell
a definite difference when trying to play with my left hand… one that is probably not noticeable if
I’m playing something simple like hymns, but one that I can unquestionably feel
when I’m trying to do runs in the more difficult pieces I like to try and
learn. I guess I can’t feel the keys as well and my fingers feel like
they are stumbling over themselves.
When it first happened earlier last year, I was completely
devastated to the point where I didn’t play the piano for several weeks.
If you know me you know I usually play pretty much every day for at least an
hour, so this had a significant impact on my mood and my emotional
well-being. However, after a few weeks I realized that I wasn’t doing
myself any good by just giving up. I remember sitting down that first
time after my little “break” and fumbling through one of my favorite pieces and
thinking, “this is bull crap. I have practiced way too much to have to deal
with this now.” But the more I played I found I was able to make a couple
of adjustments that helped and in the end I just resigned myself to having to
practice more. One of the things that I found that helps is watching my
left hand a little more. I’m not used to looking down at my hands,
especially not the left hand… but I found that when I looked at the keys my
fingers would find them a little easier and not stumble quite as much.
At the end of the day I am thankful that it’s my left hand
and not my right so far. The left always has the easier parts to play, so
it certainly could be worse. At this point I’m at peace with the fact that it may take me longer to learn pieces than it might have two years ago. I’m still a little self-conscious about it
even to the point where I tend to practice more while no-one is home when I’m
learning a new piece.
This past Christmas I was tickled that I got music as gifts from
three different people. (I have a hunch they all think I needed the
encouragement to practice.) My hubby picked me up one of the Piano Guys books, Dee
got me the “Pirates of The Caribbean At Worlds End” piano book and my mom
bought me a Marshall McDonald hymn arrangement book as well as HER favorite
version of my favorite piece to play on the piano, the Pirates Of The Caribbean
theme song. However, her favorite version is MUUUUUUUCHHHHHHH harder than
the version I currently play.
I have to say that when I first saw this piece of music and
sat down for the first run through I felt like I was a 5-year-old
playing the piano for the very first time. I literally thought… "I am never,
ever going to be able to play this. What was this woman thinking???". However, 15+ hours of practice later I am beginning to think it may be a possibility… maybe for next
Christmas... at half speed... if I practice every day till then, ha ha. :)
Honestly, it may never sound amazing, but I am having a LOT of fun trying to learn it and it's giving me a good challenge to focus on. I feel like my life is pretty much all about that right now... meeting different challenges... and either I can meet them head on or I can give up. For right now, while I still can, I choose to meet them. I'll keep you updated on how this one goes!
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