When life officially changes...

So, today I am officially the face of MS.  I had a very overwhelming visit with my neurologist this afternoon.  Initially I had told Mike not to come with me because he has already come to SO MANY things that interrupt his work day.  However, by the end of the visit I was so glad that he did come, I would have never remembered everything she told me by myself.  My neurologist's name is Dr. Banks, and she is wonderful.  She spent over an hour with me and Mike going through an insane amount of information today. I have several packets of information I need to read about different medications I can choose from to stop it from progressing.  (They are all shots that I will be giving myself for the rest of my life, go figure.  The girl who hates needles will be taking 3 shots a week.)  I guess I should start reading up on MS now that it is "official".  There is no more denial.  It still doesn't seem real, but I am coming to terms with it.

I have decided MS = Mighty Strong.  It has been quite overwhelming to think about it and I would be lying if I didn't say I have genuine fear about what the future holds, but I am also aware that things could be much worse.  I'm not dying of stage 4 cancer, I don't have a brain aneurysm, both things that dear friends of mine are battling currently.  I have a beautiful family, we have a wonderful puppy and I live in my dream home.  Mum and Dad have literally moved around the corner.  I have amazing medical benefits at work.  Life is still good, it's just going to be different now... forever changed, really... but I can get through this.  There have been a lot of breakthroughs in the research and they are hopeful of finding a cure one day.  In the meantime, I will do what I can to be a physically and mentally strong person and live the most normal life I can for both me and my family. :)

I came across this quote today when I was looking for a bit of a lift.  Isn't it amazing how you can read the words of the apostles that were actually spoken years ago and they can become relevant to you and strengthen you right now?  I just love Elder Holland... I need this quote in my home somewhere so I can read it daily!

Just a quick rundown of some of the symptoms I have experienced thus far for my own records:

• Numbness in the left foot and leg, spread in to the left side of the trunk of my body and then my shoulder, arm and hand. (Foot and leg started in January, trunk, arm and hand started end of February.  The foot and leg cleared up with the steroids the end of February, beginning of March.  The trunk has subsided.  The arm and hand are still numb.)
• Heaviness in my legs when walking (Beginning of March, only lasted one day.). I also felt like I had lumps (marbles) in my foot when walking on it (left side), went away after a few weeks.
• Stomach issues.  I'll spare you the details.
• Sheer exhaustion.  This started earlier last year.  I literally thought like I was just a lazy bum.  I couldn't function well later in the day and was falling asleep early in the evening.  I still have this, but I am starting to manage it better with energy vitamins that I take mid-day and caffeine.
• Slightly blurry vision sometimes.  Also, there have been a few occasions I have woken up in the morning unable to physically open my left eye.  I open it with my hand and then it works fine, but it is a very strange sensation.  
• The most annoying zinging down my spine.  Whenever I look slightly downwards, I feel a vibrating, electric shock type sensation go down my spine in to my groin area.  This started out as just a slight zing in the neck.  It has gotten worse over the past few months.  Now it often radiates across my chest and down my arms too.  Heat definitely makes this 100 times worse.  I hate Utah summer.
• Slight balance issues.  If I look up and over I lose my balance.  My neurologist had me try and walk a straight line heel toe, and I was unable to do it well.  I'd probably not pass the walk and turn sobriety test. :)
• I lost feeling in my RIGHT arm and hand temporarily.  I was just laying in bed and I suddenly felt this zinging down my right arm and it was like a creeping numbness that went from my shoulder down to the tips of my fingers.  Hard to explain.  Then it felt like it was pulsing, like waves were going down my arm in to my hand.  This went on for about 30 minutes, then it tapered off.  I could feel it if I dropped my neck after that, but after a few hours it was gone.