We Wish You A Merry Christmas...

From our family to yours!

Choosing Sanity...

For the first year in I don't know how many years I didn't make buckeye candy, (or what we call peanut butter balls), for our friends and neighbors for Christmas.  It may seem like a small insignificant thing but boy was it a tough decision for me!  Not because the candy is amazing or irreplaceable, but simply because it's been a tradition for me for longer than I can remember and I made the conscious choice to break it. 

Instead I simply bought bottles of bubbly and tied them up with pretty ribbons and shiny baubles.  As tough as this was to skip this tradition, it was a choice I made for my sanity and subsequently the sanity of my family.  And you know what?  It didn't ruin Christmas or make anyone feel less loved.  At the end of the day, the only one that even noticed was me!  Be ok with change.  Change can be good. ❤

Playing Dress Up...

Mike and I are not generally the most social people in the world.  Our idea of a fun night is getting some yummy takeout and laying in bed watching a marathon of NCIS or CSI.  However, this year my work Christmas party was +1 for the first time ever and so I told him we were going! :)  It was seriously such a fun evening.  

Our culture committee who planned it went all out.  The theme was speakeasy, (1920's), and while dressing up wasn't required, it was strongly encouraged... and I thought we could use some fun in our lives right now!  They had appetizers, a stellar buffet dinner and desserts, a live band, black jack, roulette and craps tables and lots of drinks!  It was so great to see so many people I work with every day in a more relaxed environment and everyone there really seemed to be genuinely enjoying themselves.  

My hubby is the most a.maz.ing sport!  Personally I thought it was lovely to get to dress up and basically pretend to be someone completely different from the norm, but for him to do this with hundreds of people he didn't know made me love him even more than I usually do.  I literally drug him around the place introducing him to all my amazing team members and got to meet all their significant others too.  

I don't know how they will top this party next year, but it was the most beautiful way to start the holiday season with the person I love the most in the entire world.  I think it's going to be a fantastic month!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  I think it's because it's pretty much like Christmas, which I also love, but without all the stress of presents and decorations!  Thanksgiving I get to reflect on all the blessings I have in my life and I can focus on spending time with the people I love the most and eating amazing food. 😉  

We weren't sure Mikey was going to be with us this year because he is traveling a lot for work, but thankfully he made it last minute.  I don't know what i'm going to do the first year one of the kids aren't able to be with us! 😟 Even the slight possibility of it happening hurt my heart this year.

We spent Thanksgiving at my mum and dad's.  A big shout out to mum for hosting again.  I love hosting Thanksgiving, but have realized that with limited energy, it's sometimes either let someone else host and just help with the cooking or be too exhausted to function the day of the holiday.

There were just ten of us this year but the food was incredible and the company entertaining.  I'm so blessed for the family I have.  I just love them all so much. ❤

Miles spent Thanksgiving with us at my mum's too, but we didn't see much of her... I think she had too much turkey! 😂

As I reflect on the things I'm thankful for this year, my family is at the top of my list.  I know I always express my love and thanks for my hubby, but he truly is the one that feels the brunt of this disease.  When I wake up in the middle of the night with leg cramps or body aches he doesn't hesitate to jump out of bed and rub my legs or back till i fall back asleep.  When I have to back out of doing something fun because I'm not feeling well, he never complains... he just tells me how much he loves being at home relaxing with me.  When I come home from a long day of work and am struggling to find the physical strength to make dinner, he swings by and picks something up without delay and brings it home with a smile and a kiss.  I am one lucky gal to have this guy in my corner.

I am truly thankful for him, for my parents, for my kids and other amazing family and friends who show me so much love, support and patience.  They are my biggest blessings.  ❤

Happy Halloween!

I wasn't going to do anything special for Halloween.  We have only been back a few days from our vacation, I am back at work so I was pretty tired by the time I got home and all the boxes of Halloween decorations were piled under the Christmas stuff in the basement.  It would have been easy to make the excuse not to make the effort and no-one would have said anything, but I feel like my choices at times like this are what define me.  

There are two MS-me's.  Multiple Sclerosis me says to do the bare minimum... hand out candy and let the day pass.  But then there is Mighty Strong me.  This me says get up, dress up, show up and never give up.  Mighty Strong me says to put in the best effort I can... for me and for my family.  

I'm glad to report that Mighty Strong me showed up today.  I didn't over do it, that would have been stupid.  But I made an effort.  I pulled the decorations out from under the Christmas stuff...

  

I then pulled the costume box down off the top shelf of my clothes closet and rummaged through it to see what I could find.  I was able to give Miles a makeover with the treasures I found in there! 😂 

She wasn't amused!! 😂

By the time Mike got home, I had baskets of candy ready with plenty of reserves... (we usually have a couple of hundred kids swing by)... and we had the most fun evening sitting together out on the porch, wrapped up in blankets and handing out treats to all the cute characters walking around our neighborhood.

It's worth it... making the effort, getting up, dressing up, showing up and never giving up.  It turns days that could have just passed by in to sweet, sweet memories with your family. ❤  Happy Halloween!

A Week Away From The Norm...

Things have been going remarkably well the past month, knock on wood.  I think maybe I'm getting more used to living with MS and I am definitely doing better at making adjustments and taking precautions.

This past week the Hubby and I went to San Diego for a week together, just the two of us.  We had such a wonderful time.  My biggest goal was for HIM to have fun.  He spends so much time doing so much for me, I honestly just wanted him to have a break from the norm and do things he wanted to do.  

During our week we visited SeaWorld, Balboa Park, the Air & Space museum, the Automobile museum and the Hall of Nations.  We boarded submarines, the Star of India and one of the boats used for filming Pirates of the Caribbean.  We cruised around San Diego bay, explored Coronado Island, La Jolla, Seaport village and the Japanese gardens.  

One of the highlights of the week was touring the USS Midway ship, which is a massive aircraft carrier that was actually used during Desert Storm.  Mike especially enjoyed climbing up in to the cockpit of a Jet and seeing more than 30 additional restored aircraft's and helicopters.  It was quite incredible! 

We also spent a good amount of time exploring the San Diego Zoo and Safari Parks.  There were so many beautiful animals there, but I think our favorite part of that adventure was definitely the Australian walkabout in the Safari park where Mike got to pet a baby wallaby. 

  

We ate loads of yummy food and genuinely enjoyed every minute together.  To me it literally felt like a honeymoon!  

Mike is very mindful of my energy and pain levels which can make him a little "over-protective" sometimes.  I love him so much and sincerely appreciate all he does for me, I just feel bad that my MS always seems to be at the forefront of his mind.  He was constantly making sure we stopped to rest for a bit and kept buying me bottles of water to make sure I was hydrated.  He would insist we spend time each evening relaxing at the hotel.  Even at the airport he would take both the large suitcases and his backpack leaving me with just a small backpack with my purse and medication in it.  From an outside perspective looking in I'm positive I look like a spoiled brat.  😔  It's a real challenge for me to not feel like a constant burden to him and that is my biggest struggle right now.  However, that is something I will need to figure out and work on.  Meanwhile, I do recognize how blessed I am to have him in my life watching over me.  It was such a lovely week and I'm so glad we had the opportunity to spend this time together.  We definitely need to plan more little trips away together! ❤

The Gift That Keeps On Giving?

No, it isn't a wart.  It'a apparently a cyst caused by "leaky joints?"  All I know is it's gotten bigger since I had my regular doc take a look at it a couple of months ago and it has got to go!  (Yes, I may be overly sensitive about it, but it feels like it sticks out like a sore thumb.  (Except it's technically a sore finger.)  This stupid thing catches on everything and it's painful when it does! I feel like I have to explain it to everyone I talk to just in case they catch a glimpse.  It's ridiculous.

*Sigh*  Most days I do fine with everything but then out of the blue the smallest thing sets me off.  This is quite literally the smallest little thing, but it is causing me some grief this week.  I did a dumb thing and googled cyst removal and now I can't get the images I saw out of my head... it makes me physically sick and I'm afraid of going back to the doctor knowing they may have to do that.  Yep, after almost two years of regular doctors visits I still get kinda freaked out.

Don't mind me, I'm just having a bit of a pity party tonight.  Tomorrow is a new day, right?

Pirates Piano Update...

Remember my post back in February about a new challenge?  Well, it has been a few months, but here's my update:

Good Riddance July...

I was feeling a LOT better this past Saturday.  The pain was easing up substantially day by day through the week and I was being sure to take it easy and not over do it so I didn't cause anything to flare up.  I had been able to do a light grocery shop as well as take a short trip to Homegoods during the week and I was on cloud nine! 

By Saturday I was ready to have a bit of fun with the hubby.  We went to the movies in the afternoon with some good friends to see Mission Impossible, (thank you deluxe recliners with heated seats), AND enjoyed dinner at Wallaby's afterwards.  (They have some good BBQ!)  I came home and laid down to rest after our outing as I was excited to go to church the next day after missing last week.

Sunday morning I was still feeling pretty good.  I got up and showered and got dressed and was doing great until I tried to put on pantyhose.  I immediately felt a sharp twinge on the left side of my back and it stopped me short.  I laid down for a few minutes, waiting for it to subside, and as soon as it had passed I moved over to the chair Mike had put in front of my mirror and started to dry my hair.  All of a sudden I felt the most horrible pain radiate all the way across my lower back... I can honestly say I have never felt back pain like that ever.  I tried to stand up and couldn't... all I could do was arch my back and slide off the chair.  

Mike had just gotten in the shower, so I was stuck.  I tried to stand and the pain just increased.  I was close enough to the bed that with some effort and a few tears I eventually managed to get myself up on to it.  Poor Mike.  He came out of the shower and found me laying on the bed having a bit of a meltdown.  I was so angry and so frustrated.  He put the e-stim machine on my back and I laid there for 30 minutes.  There went sacrament meeting.  I was able to get up after the treatment was over and I slowly finished getting ready.  We managed to get there in time for Relief Society so at least we didn't miss the whole block, but I was sad we missed the other meetings.  

The good news is that has been the last major episode I have had since then!  I have now been four days almost 100% pain free and I've had no pain meds during that time.  I am walking pretty much normally.  I am careful getting in and out of the car, bending and lifting, but literally I feel like a new person.  July has been a very long month for me.  Between my back and the heat there were a lot of days I was focused simply on being able to function and get through.  I was beginning to wonder if this was going to be the new normal, however the last few days have given me a renewed hope that August is going to be much better.  This weekend I'll try a few minutes back on my bike.  My activity tolerance is low because I've been so sedentary that I run out of energy quickly, however, I can work on that.  Good riddance July and hello August.  I'm definitely glad for a new month and a new start!

Medication Prior Authorization...

I was down to my last shot last week so I called in to Aetnas specialty pharmacy Monday to order.  To my surprise the pharmacist told me that my insurance authorization for the medication had expired and my Dr. needed to resubmit a request to the insurance company before they could ship it out.  However, she assured me this could be handled the same day and they could still get it out if they received it quickly.  I called my Dr and spoke to her assistant.  She told me they had actually faxed it over last week, but no problem!  They could fax over the form again immediately.

A few hours later I called the pharmacy again to check they had received it and could ship out the meds.  "No, we haven't received the form yet."  After several phone conversations back and forth and in desperation, a call directly to my main insurance number, I learned the form had been received but it "didn't have all the information they needed on it and the request had been denied.  However, if the Drs office would just call in they could get the information they needed over the phone and appeal the denial."  By this time it was too late to get the medication out today, but they could get it out first thing the next day and I would still have it in time for Wednesday so I wouldn't miss a dose.

Wrong.  The next day was Pioneer Day here in Utah so even though I had called and left a message the night before for the Drs office, they were closed Tuesday so no-one was available to call in to my insurance.  I resigned myself to the fact that for the second month in a row I was indeed going to miss a dose, but I was trying not to stress over it.  All I could think was... of course.  It's not enough that I'm in constant pain and can barely walk.  Now I'm going to lose my medication.  Really, what else can go wrong this month?

Wednesday came and it was back and forth on the phone again with no resolution.  I was a little bit frustrated at this point.  I hadn't heard anything back from either side by the evening and we were going to go in to Thursday with absolutely no progress.  Mike was stressed out of his mind.  I had learned last month with the whole UPS fiasco that you can miss a couple of doses and be just fine but he wasn't acknowledging that as an acceptable answer.

Thursday I called the Drs office first thing in the morning and they told me they hadn't made any progress and were going to make some calls and would call me back.  Ugh.  About an hour later I got a call back from them and they told me they had talked to my nurse Brandee and she had called Jean at MS Lifelines, (she is the drug companies insurance specialist.)  Jean was going to call the insurance company and get things straightened out and if needed, get me some medication to hold me over.  A few hours later as I was leaving work I picked up my phone messages and there was a message from Jean that everything was approved and to call the pharmacy to get the medication shipped out.  I was so relieved.  I called the pharmacy immediately from my office parking lot and even though it was too late to get the shots shipped out that night for Friday delivery, they were able to arrange a special Saturday morning delivery for me so I would have the medication for the weekend.

What a stressful week!  But I was SO thankful for Jean and Brandee for getting everything sorted out for me so fast.  At the end of the day I only missed two shots and I would be able to restart the medication without starting over again with the titration pack, (smaller doses.)  I am really grateful for people who advocate for me.  While I am definitely my own advocate too, it is so nice to know I have a support system of people behind me to help me with all these things.  I'm not sure why you have to get reauthorized yearly for a medication when your disease has no cure, so they know you still need it, but I now know to reach out for that authorization several weeks prior every July in case there are complications... and if there are ANY issues, I can call MS Lifelines and get help immediately.

It's been a crazy month.  Can August get here already?

Isn't it ironic... don't you think?

I opened my desk drawer today and found that my poor little stress man that Mike bought me a couple of years ago had literally exploded.  After I got over the "awwwwwwe maaaaaaaan" of the situation, I sat him on my desk and began to laugh.  I mean, how ironic was this situation.  This little guy literally looked just like I felt.  I really needed that laugh today.

It's been a few days since I finished the steroids and I'm honestly past done with everything.  I still have a lot of pain in my back.  Nothing seems to relieve it.  It felt good for a few days, but now that the steroids are done it feels like I'm back to square one.  I can't walk for more than a few minutes at a time.  I have to use a cane to get out of bed or up off the loo.  It hurts to stand.  It hurts to lay.    It hurts to sit on the couch.  It hurts to roll over.  I haven't called the Dr back yet.  I don't want another MRI.  I definitely don't want back surgery!  I just can't take anything else right now.  I'm sick of not being able to exercise.  I'm so grumpy and fed up and I'm tired of pasting a smile on my face.  I'm so frustrated that my poor hubby has to deal with all of this on top of everything else.  Bless him he is so very kind and loving and does so much for me.  I just want to be able to do things for him.  OK, rant over.

I'm going to try and stay flat all weekend and see how I feel Monday.  If it isn't feeling any better at all then I'll have to bite the bullet and call the Dr.  I'm not above begging for some prayers at this point.  The thought of surgery really scares me.  Here's to hoping a weekend in bed will fix me.

Meet my nightstand...

I reached over to grab my iPad over the weekend and was met by this view.  Ugh... so many medications for so many different things, and my shots aren't even pictured as they are kept in the refrigerator.  While part of me cringes at having to pop so many different pills, the other part of me is very, very grateful for modern day medication and the quality of life it affords me.  My fatigue medication has literally changed my life.  I got three to four hours of every day back.  And my shots are literally slowing down the progression of this disease and reducing the exacerbation's I could be having.  Yes, it's a crappy month, but good heavens I suppose it could be a lot worse.  Today I'm just trying to see the cup half full.

Pain, pain go away...

It's been a REALLY crappy couple of weeks.  I started getting pain in my lower back around a couple of weeks ago just before the fourth of July.  I think it's from trying to workout with heavier weights.  (I only went from 5lbs to 8lbs, but apparently my back didn't like it.)  By Friday of that week I was barely able to walk.  It was so bad that Mike had to put a four pronged cane next to my bed to help me get up and down and get to the bathroom, but it was painful to turn over, painful to walk, painful to lay, painful to sit.  I was in absolute agony.  I stayed in bed all weekend so that I would be ready to go back to work on Monday.  Usually if I have back pain it resolves itself in a couple of days, but I could barely make it from the parking lot to my office on the third floor come Monday.  Still I pressed on knowing I only had to make it through three days that week as I had arranged to take Thursday and Friday off hoping to spend a lovely long 26th anniversary weekend with the hubby doing something fun.

Tuesday it just felt like it was getting worse so I finally caved and made an appointment for Thursday morning since I was already off.  Wednesday was our anniversary and we were supposed to go to  Rodizio, but that wasn't happening.  We did get some sushi which was lovely, (and by that I mean I had sushi and Mike had General Tso's Chicken), and he brought me some beautiful flowers home.

You know what I did for him?  I had Dee pick up a card for me to give him.  Terrible.  I am the worst wife.

We had purchased tickets to The Phantom of the Opera at Eccles Theater back in November of last year for July 12th and there was absolutely no way I was going to miss that, so I went to the doctor that morning hoping that she would give me something that would help me through the afternoon/evening.  My doc wasn't sure if the injury was muscular or if I have a herniated disc, so she gave me both steroids and a muscle relaxer so we can treat both.  If these meds don't work then I'll have to go in for an MRI and go to a back specialist.  She also gave me a new medication to try after the steroids instead of ibuprofen called mobic.  This medication is usually given to much older people who have to take several ibuprofen's a day for arthritis or other pain, but she thought it would be a great substitute for me as I often take multiple ibuprofen 800's a day along with extra strength tylenol.  Mobic will hopefully be easier on my stomach and other internal organs.

I took my first steroids immediately and laid down for a rest before we left for Phantom and they absolutely kicked in quickly enough to help me through the the afternoon/evening.  The Phantom of the Opera was A.MAZ.ING.  This was my first time seeing it live and I could not have loved it more.  I was literally transported to a whole other world for the entire duration of the show.  The music was wonderful, the actors and actresses were perfect, and I was able to share the entire experience with the person I love the most.  It was just incredible.

We didn't get to do much over the weekend.  I do feel it's getting better, I'm just afraid that it will only be a temporary fix while I'm on the steroids and then be sore again.  I guess time will tell.  I'm trying to take it easy and let it heal while I'm taking them.

As usual the steroids have had a few side affects... the worst is the excessive sweating.  Just walking around the house or the office makes me sweat profusely.  I also feel easily irritated but I just keep reminding myself it's probably the meds before I blow up at someone.  Here's to hoping we can clear up the back issue and I can get back to exercising and feeling better really soon.

Happy Anniversary To Me!

Can you believe it's been an entire year since my official MS diagnosis?  June 27th will forever stand out in my mind a little bit I guess.  Not everyone would consider this a "happy" anniversary, and this time last year was a tough day for sure, but simply having a diagnosis and being able to be on a treatment plan is something to be grateful for.   

I thought about a lot of things today as we traveled home from our little trip to Wyoming.  I thought about how it certainly does not seem like it's been a year... I still feel like everything is pretty new.  I thought about how many things have changed for me, but also how many things I have been able to keep the same by simply making some small adjustments.  

I thought about my dear sweet hubby and how much crying and frustration he has had to endure from me.  I thought about how much support he, my kids and my parents have given me.  I thought about the special friends in my life who have reached out and loved and encouraged me.  It's a well known fact that people don't always stick around when they find out you have a chronic illness!  I'm so glad for the amazing people in my life that have.

The past year has definitely been an adventure of sorts, but even though it has been a bit challenging at times, it has been a journey that has taught me more humility, compassion, empathy, gratitude and love than I thought possible.  Now to see what the next year brings us! 

A few days away...

It's been a fun week.  My cute hubby decided a few months ago that he wanted to certify in Tai Chi for Arthritis and Fall Prevention so he could teach classes to his geriatric patients at the facilities he works at.  He first learned Tai Chi from one of our neighbors in Maryland, Doan Ping, who used to do it every single morning at the park in our apartment complex.  It's been over 12 years since he practiced with Mr. Ping, so after doing about 60 hours of review and preparation, he signed up for the two day certification seminar in Casper, Wyoming and I decided to tag along with him.

Things started out a little stressful as I was supposed to get my new shipment of meds just a couple of days before we left.  Every month Aetna overnights me a new box of 12 shots in a foam cooler with frozen gel packs, but they won't ship the new box until I only have one or two left.  I then have to spend an entire day at home as UPS will only give me the time window of 8am to 8pm for delivery... super convenient.  Luckily, I can usually work from home for that day.

I was working from home waiting for the meds to arrive Thursday when I got an email from UPS around 2pm that my delivery had been rescheduled for Friday.  I had two issues with that... first, the gel packs will only last so long so if the meds are too late they are compromised and can't be used.  Second, I couldn't sit home another whole day waiting for the meds to arrive.  I called UPS and they informed me my package had accidentally been rerouted to Roanoke Virginia... um, how does that even happen with an overnight package?  The supervisor assured me they could get it to me the next day and that she would call me later and give me an update on the progress.  She never did call me back, but I was able to get Lois, (my MIL), to stay home Friday while I was at work and then I got home about 3:30 to relieve her.  Except suddenly I got ANOTHER reschedule email from UPS for Monday.

At this point I kind of lost it and flipped out.  We were supposed to leave town the next morning, I had no shots left to take with me which meant I would be without medication while we were gone.  The supervisor lady had never called me back, at this point the medication would probably be compromised AND this was $9000 worth of shots that I wasn't sure my insurance company would reship! After spending yet another hour speaking with another, different supervisor on the phone and not getting anywhere other than him saying basically the same things the lady had said yesterday and telling me it was in Roanoke and they would do their best to get it back to me by the next morning, I texted Mike in a panic and he suggested I just call Aetna.

Aetna, unlike UPS, were absolutely WONDERFUL.  As soon as they answered the phone I had a bit of an emotional meltdown, but the sweet woman on the other end of the phone calmed me down so quickly and let me know that everything would be fine and they would get everything sorted out.  She then told me that they had just gotten a call from UPS who had told them they believed they had lost the package, (not what they had told me), and that even if it resurfaced, by the time I got it it would be compromised.  She then promptly set up another shipment TO MY HOTEL so that I would have meds while I was away.  She was the most warm, compassionate woman... I was so relieved after speaking with her that I just started crying.  What did I learn from this experience?  MAKE SURE YOU HAVE ENOUGH MEDS FOR ANY TRIP AT LEAST A WEEK AHEAD OF TIME!

Thanks to Aetna we were able to leave on time the next morning for our little trip.  It is a 6 1/2 hour drive to Casper Wyoming,  which is a LONG drive for someone with MS, but our new Santa Fe was a lifesaver!  I never thought I would use the heated seats because heat always causes that pesky zinging down my spine... however, after an hour and a half, my body was starting to feel it and I wasn't sure how I was going to make it another 5 hours.  At this point, my smart hubby put on the heated seats, but then blasted me with the AC.  It was the PERFECT combination.  The heat relaxed my muscles and the AC kept me cool.  I was absolutely fine the whole rest of the way!

If you have never been to Casper Wyoming, I have to be honest... there is very little to do there.  However, the people who live in Casper are some of the nicest, most friendly people I have ever met in my life.  At first I thought it was just our hotel staff, but it didn't matter what restaurant we went to or who we talked to, they were so incredibly kind.  We also noticed the lack of aggressive driving... people were just very "laid back" there.

We wanted to explore the area a bit, so we had scoured the internet to see what we could find to do.  I had found a cool little pioneer museum we could visit, (The National Historic Trails Interpretive Center), as well as a walking trail with a waterfall at the end, however other than those two things, there was not much more to see!  We spent a lovely couple of hours at the museum learning about all the different "pioneer" trails for the western expansion... Oregon, California, Mormon and Pony Express.

We also enjoyed walking up to the waterfall and exploring around there a bit. 

However, once that was done we were literally stuck for what to do next.  It was in the parking lot at the waterfall trail head that we came across an article called  "The Seven Wonders of Casper" which peaked our interest.  It was a funny little list of seven quirky things you could find in Casper, so with nothing else to do, we decided to spend the afternoon finding all seven "wonders."  In no particular order they were:

1.  The Echo Chamber:  If you stand in the middle, you hear everything you say being echoed around you, but everyone outside of the chamber just hears your regular voice.

2.  The "Eggbeater" which literally is this tall white tower that has three legs holding it up.  AND it's part of the strangest looking Wells Fargo Bank I've ever seen... a broken egg?  The tower apparently used to have a Wells Fargo sign attached to it at the top, but the wind made it too dangerous, so they had to take the sign down.

3.  Lookout from Casper Mountain.  This really was a beautiful view.

4.  The magic mirror.  I'm not gonna lie.  We could not figure this one out to save our lives.  There was definitely no magic for us!  

5.  The spiral stairway.  Down the back alley of a row of shops, there was this magnificent stairway that takes you... absolutely no-where.  Confession:  I would not have even walked down here if hubby wasn't packing heat.  It seemed like the perfect spot for the scene where Batman's parents get shot. :/

6.  The clock that no-one see's.  We literally had to drive up a parking garage to the third level to see this clock that had been painted on the outside of a building down the alley next to it.  My guess was it was painted before the garage was erected.  But now it's just where no-one can see it.  (Unless you are in this parking space.)

7.  Gravity Hill.  This was the one "wonder" that we actually found pretty amazing and really got a kick out of...  I'll let the video tell the story:

At the end of the day, while we didn't find the 7 wonders of Casper exactly awe inspiring, we did have a fun filled afternoon with a lot of laughs.  Ironically, that evening we found our own 7 wonders of Casper, most of which were in the parking lot of the same restaurant:

By the way, my hubby completely passed and is now certified to teach Tai Chi for both arthritis and Fall Prevention.  I'm so proud of him!  He swears he is going to get me doing this to help me with my balance issues.  We shall see love, we shall see. :)

A social media fast...

My hubby is not on social media... I added his name to my Facebook and Instagram accounts so that people can get in touch with him if they want to, but he absolutely never gets on.  He hates social media.  He thinks it's "a bunch of time wasted on garbage... unless it's your family," and he "(doesn't) need to hear if someone is taking a crap," (speaking of the people who post 100 times a day on every little aspect of their lives.)  He has some good points.  There are definitely good and bad things about social media.

The good?  I like seeing pictures of my family who don't live close and hearing what is going on in their lives.  I like to see what my kids are up to when they are not home.  I like to read articles of interest to me, like articles about MS from the National MS Society and MS Lifelines, or watch quick and simple recipes being made on Buzzfeed Tasty.  I like to read uplifting quotes and even look at cute, funny videos of adorable baby animals sometimes.

My hubby for some reason thinks I am on social media all the time, (I think he forgets that my kindle is also on my phone... as is my favorite game right now... "word cookie", pinterest, my email, my scriptures and my photographs which I absolutely LOVE looking at, just to name a few things), so when we watched the prophets devotional a few weeks ago and he issued the challenge to the youth to take a seven day fast from social media, (or as he said... take a break from the fake), Mike pretty much turned to me, laughed, and bet me I couldn't do it.

First, don't ever tell me I can't do something because I am VERY stubborn and will do it just to prove you wrong.  (Ask my mum who told me there was no way I could complete the 50 mile hike with the scouts because I had to drive the car to the end of the street just to return a video.)  Second, I'm genuinely not in to social media like he thinks I am so it just isn't as terribly hard as he thinks to give it up for a week.

I only have two social media apps... Facebook and Instagram.  I don't have Snapchat, Twitter or any others on my phone.  To stop me from accidentally opening them, I put both of the apps on my third page of apps in a folder called "Social Media Fast."  Here are a few things I learned that week:

• I frequently open social media out of habit, just because I'm waiting on something or don't have something planned or feel bored.

The very first day I noticed that if I had free time or was sitting waiting for something or someone, I would automatically pick up my phone and go to open Facebook or Instagram.  Why?  This was a habit that I was able to break fast and that I will not allow myself to get in to again.

• I enjoy experiences more when I'm not worried about getting the perfect picture to post or the perfect quote to share.

I sincerely enjoyed being in the moment and not worrying about other people knowing what I was doing.  I did things for me and my family and not to impress anyone else.  I didn't waste any of my time that week interrupting the experiences I was having wondering how I should post it... I just lived in the present with the people I love and I was MUCH more focused on them!

• I had more free time.  

I learned that all the little spurts of time I spend having a "quick check-in" add up to more time than I was aware.  I spent more time thinking about how I could serve people around me, reading my scriptures, doing things I enjoyed like reading a book, sitting on the swing with my hubby and talking to him or playing games together.  I used my brain more and actually tried the lost art of just sitting and "thinking." 

• I realized how often I lose sight of the false reality that social media can create in my head.  

Social media can cause me to compare my worst experiences or problems with other people's "highlight reels."  Instead of looking to see what other people were doing or if things I posted were getting "likes", I found myself reaching out more to REAL people in REAL time and actually talking to people more.  I visited neighbors and family a couple of times, I texted people I hadn't spoken to in a while. I was more present in my own home with my family. 

• I was happier and much more calm!

I truly was.  I didn't get frustrated by keyboard warriors or passive-aggressive cries for attention. I didn't think about what I might be missing out on or worry about what people were thinking about me... I was genuinely less depressed and noticeably felt more gratitude through the week for the blessings in my life and the real people who take the time to check in with me and genuinely care.

I'm not saying there isn't a time and place for social media.  I missed being able to check out events and pages I am part of.  I missed seeing what was going on in the lives of people I honestly do care about. I missed laughing at things my kids tag me in that they know I'll find funny.  However, one of the best things I have ever heard about social media is that we should treat it more like dessert than the main course.  Most of us love dessert but it doesn't mean we should eat it all day long.  That's the perspective I hope to keep about me when it comes to social media going forward, and maybe a week off of it every month or a weekly "day of rest" isn't a bad idea to help me out with that either.   

What do you do to control your social media instead of letting it control you?

Missing the boy...

It's been a long couple of weeks.  Mikey has been gone on tour with one of his bands.  They don't make a ton of money... usually just enough to get them to their next destination, but he absolutely loves it.  This is the longest one he has ever been on, (two weeks), and I miss him.  His dad misses him too.  In fact, he is always a little depressed when one of the kids are gone... tonight we went out to sit on the swing on the front porch and within minutes he was down checking on Mikey's car to make sure it started for when he comes home.  (It didn't... it needs a new battery.)  I do find his deep love for his kids to be extremely endearing, but I have no idea what he is going to do when they finally move out, ha!

Mikey will be home in a couple of days, so all will be back to normal in the Collins' home.  Meanwhile, I've enjoyed getting pics from all the different states he has been visiting.  He even got to spend the night at his Aunt Jenna's house in Texas.  They were so good to him and the band... put them up in their home and fed them... even went to his show!  Mikey just loved getting to visit with them and I was grateful to know he was being taken good care of for a night.

On another note, while we were out on the porch tonight, enjoying the AMAZING weather, I couldn't help but admire the little rose tree Mike planted for me last summer which has more than tripled in size... it's insane.  It was so heavy that we had to tie it down to the ground on one side to hold it up.  I need to trim the left side, because it is thicker and heavier than the right, but I can't trim it while there are so many buds... I just can't.  Here is a pic from a week ago:

And here was my view from the porch tonight!!!  

How crazy is that!?!?!?  It will bloom like this a few times over the summer.  (As soon as this set of buds fall off, I'll trim that left side.)  Yay for beautiful things and a hubby who fills my world with them... I always think of him when I hear the lyrics in the song "A Million Dreams" that say:

The special things I compile,

Each one there to make you smile...

(A Million Dreams, The Greatest Showman)

That is so him.  He just fills my life with beauty.  I'm a lucky girl. :)

When Tuesday feels like Monday...

Well, today has been a day.  It didn't start well because I had some issues through the night so I got a grand total of 3 hours sleep.  The alarm went off just after 5am.  I can't tell you how many days I just want to roll over and go back to sleep, but I made the decision just under a year ago that I would get up every day and do my best, no matter how I was feeling.  When you make a deliberate decision like that once, it stops you from having to make it every single day.

This weekend wasn't the best.  Our big freezer in the garage broke and we lost most of the food in it other than a pile of steaks that had somehow managed to stay partially frozen and very cold, probably because there were several packs piled on top of each other.  We were able to keep those in the refrigerator and grill them last night so we could slice it and refreeze it to use in burritos as needed.  Everything else was toast.

It always pinches my heart to see that amount of food wasted, but as we tossed everything, I remembered back to another time that we lost an entire freezer worth of food when the kids were very little and money was quite tight.  The door had been left open and we didn't find it for three days... I remember gagging and sobbing at the same time as I piled all the spoiled meat in to bags to throw away.  I always bought meat when it was super cheap and we had it stocked piled, so it was a LOT... and throwing all that away was a huge blow to our budget.  I also remember my sweet parents who brought us over two checks that night, (one from each of them), for us to go out and replace all the lost food.  It still tugs at my heart and makes me tear up to think of their compassion and love for us.  There were so many times that they did things like that for us back then... heck, they still do!

This time I admit I breathed a little easier, knowing that even though it was still a terrible waste, we are blessed to be in a much better financial situation than we were back then, and we will be ok.

Yesterday was memorial day but Mike had to work, so it didn't feel like a holiday.  I did get to have sushi lunch with Dee and then we had mum and dad over to help eat some of the grilled steak with baked potatoes and salad. We spent the evening playing Five Crowns and had a good laugh together.

Still, after the long holiday weekend and no sleep last night, work was tough today.  I was tired and grumpy and one of my teams accidentally missed an assignment, which NEVER happens.  I wasn't angry... they got it completed within a couple of hours and I know they have been completely slammed the past couple of months, but I still felt crappy about it.  I don't like to miss ANYTHING!  However, I have created a couple of new reports that will help us track better going forward and am confident we will be able to stay on top of the workload.  They really are an amazing team.

The rest of the day didn't go much better, so while I have been trying to take a hiatus from Diet Coke for the past couple of months, I gave in when one of my awesome team members dropped a can on my desk.  They are so good to me and know me so well.  This was literally the only way I got through today.  Diet coke with sugar free raspberry and coconut syrups over pebble ice.  Heaven!

Tonight I'm hitting the sack early and tomorrow is a brand new day.  I've already made that decision to get up in the morning, so here's to a better day... and just think, it's hump day already.  Bring on the weekend! :)