We did Thanksgiving a little differently this year. Usually I host Thanksgiving at my house and Mum does Christmas, but the way I have been struggling with energy I wasn't sure if I could handle it. It was a really tough decision for me, but I wanted to be able to enjoy the time with all the family and help with the cooking and I knew that hosting would probably tip me over a bit. So when Mum offered to have Thanksgiving at her house, I took her up on it.
It was an absolutely wonderful day. I don't know what it is about their new home, but I love it. It feels so warm and inviting... not that the other one didn't, but there is something special about this home that makes it feel different. I'm not sure what it is. Having Thanksgiving there was lovely. We all helped bring food so mum didn't have to do ALL of the cooking. I tried to be smart about my assignments and do as much as I could the night before so I had minimal to do on Thanksgiving. Mike helped with a lot of the cooking this time too, which was sincerely appreciated. We actually ended up cooking a small turkey and mashed potatoes the night before for his Mom who was not going to be able to come to dinner since she had to work all day at Walmart. (Shame on Walmart for making their employees work 9 hour shifts on Thanksgiving.)
Thanksgiving day I basically just had to assemble what I had prepped the night before and throw it in the oven. Then off we went to Mum & Dad's. It was great! I really enjoyed spending the day with everyone. There were lots of laughs. :)
We went to another MS event recently and learned about dealing with the Holidays. They had some great tips.
- Ask someone else to host the holiday dinner if you don't feel up to it. (I didn't even have to ask. My mum offered months ago.)
- Accept help with errands, extra household chores and other responsibilities during this extra busy time of year. (Mike is so wonderful at offering help with all the housework. I've also learned to be more gracious and accepting of his moms help. She lives with us and pitches in quite a bit to help out.)
- Shop for gifts from the convenience of your own home. (Can we say amazon.com and walmart.com?!?!
- Nap before the family gathering. (Or sleep in is more what like what I do.)
- Lean on others to help with clean up duties. (I leaned on my family to do our share of this big time this year.)
At the same event they spoke on depression and adjusting to the MS family dynamic. I will be the first to admit that I have struggled with depression. I have had it for years, but it has definitely been more of prominent the past year. How grateful I am for lots of family support and love as well as good modern day meds that help to balance me out. The thing I get most depressed about is what my family, (mostly Mike, but my kids and my parents too), have to deal with. I don't want to be a burden, and I don't want them to not do things because I can't. I don't want that quality of life for them. I do struggle sometimes thinking about the future, but that thinking also motivates me to try harder. And it ALWAYS helps to talk those thoughts through with a nurse or someone I trust.
The next month is going to be busy, but I'm looking forward to it. The energy meds seem to be helping as I am no longer falling asleep at 7pm every night, ha ha. I find that if I keep a calendar and plan things ahead it is much easier for me to keep up as I can adjust. For example, if I know we have a bigger event, I can arrange to take the day after off of work or take a nap earlier to help me get through it. I can simplify gift buying to conserve my energy for the family time. I can simplify baking and meals. It's all a juggling act, but so far so good. :)
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